in case you missed part one: TLDR I tried to write a book a few years back and it was absolute shit

but also you really should just go read part one first, because I really feel like this post will make a lot less sense without that context

it also feels worth mentioning: I’d reread the beginning of this old attempt a few months ago, and part one was mostly me reacting to the part I’d already read. it was no less horrifying or hilarious to read, but I at least had some sort of idea what to expect. from here . . . I honestly don’t know if I’ve read this since I wrote it a few years ago

my first thought here is literally just “WHY DID I NAME THE MOUNTAIN RANGE “THE DRAGONSTEETH” but also,,,,,,, that is still it’s name in my current draft OOPS

whyyyyy does this exist, Alex is way way way too prideful to ever let a royal do her work for her why did I not even know my own characters back then 😭 also why does this use the word work SO MANY TIMES IN THIS SENTENCE OMG

I have two thoughts here:

1 – Alex is literally just thinking “why does the queen trust me not to stab her” but like . . . she wants to stab her and doesn’t even try???? despite clearly seeing the opportunity??

2 – Alex would never use the word contempt, it’s too pretentious

BUT I JUST SAID SHE FELL ASLEEP REALLY EASILY WHAT IS HAPPENING I’M SO CONFUSED

truly I’m such an eloquent writer

Alex being Absolutely Not A Morning Person is my favourite thing about this book lmaoooo

THIS IS HONESTLY STILL TOTALLY ACCURATE AND I”M SCREAMING

SHE HATES MORNINGS SO MUCH

WHY DID I MAKE THIS A TRAIT OF MY SNARKY ANGRY REBEL AHHHKHFGDHGHFG I HAVE NO EXPLANATION BUT I LOVE IT

Emi,,,, a love you,,,, but please shut up. also this is the literal definition of bratty noble right here ajhgfghjhg

how is this just like . . . SO bad?? like wow tension who? we don’t know her. it’s so . . . casual. just like and this and this and this and let’s try and be dramatic about it but somehow manage to be both dramatic AND boring at once

Alex is a hot mess

also [insert dialogue here] hhhhh I had noooo idea what I was doing (I mean I still use lots of [insert x here] when I get stuck, but I very distinctly remember knowing here that I had to develop their relationship but not knowing how (mostly!! because!! all their interactions before were just overdramatic snark!! with no substance!!))

I,,,, don’t think that works, grammatically speaking

show don’t tell show don’t tell SHOW DON’T TELL OMFG also “I hope they’re okay” sounds so chill hhhh

WHY IS THIS ALL SO DRAMATIC OMG HHHHHHHHH

I just. I have no words. Roy is my soft bby but also this is like 2% of his current personality, and Alex is just being so petty I can’t handle it aklkfhhghfgjhgh also just like. all the writing. all of it. trash. that last line,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, someone make it stop

also “I am a decent human being, Roy” I have no words I hate it here

the contrast between “Can it, Roy!” and “Her comfort is the last of our concerns” is . . . a lot. consistent dialogue?? we don’t know her

and then I proceed to overuse the word decent/decency a LOT as they argue,,,

well that was blunt

why is this me tho

what,,,, what even IS this sentence,,,,, like I get what it’s saying but could I possibly have worded it any more awkwardly 😂

ah yes, sage my favourite child who’s personality in this draft is mostly just swearing a lot (they get better I swear)(I keep saying that about everything but . . . everything gets better in later drafts this draft is just exceptionally shit)

also,,,, I use?? so many italics?? in this conversation??

WHY IS THIS DIALOGUE SO FUNNY TO ME AGHFGJHGHG

I,,,,,,,, used this exact dialogue in my current draft??? and I had no memory of writing it in this attempt at writing this book lmao that’s weird

truly earthshattering dialogue

just chill, no big deal (also?? a tent post?? how do you tie someone to a tent post????)

I’M SCREAMING WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL WAS PAST ME THINKING WITH THIS WHAT IS HAPPENING AHGGFJGHGFHJHGH I CAN’T

“But still. She frustrates me.” what the hell why was he so awkward and weird in this draft

also,,,, THERE WAS A WAR?????? WHAT IS THIS WHAT WAS THE WAR ABOUT I THINK THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE RELEVANT LMAOOOO

oh,,, oh no,,, this next part is real bad. no one needs to see this :|| moving on

“NO. I SENT MYSELF TO INTERROGATE YOU.” WHY IS THAT HONESTLY ICONIC I LOVE SAGE

emi,,,, you’re so so gay,,,, but also what the hell lmao what is all of this why is this so cringey I hate it here why could I NOT write romance ajkhgdfghjjghfg

lmaooo me highlighting that as I realized they weren’t on earth but I didn’t know what else to say I remember this very clearly it’s too funny

TEN

I can’t keep track of the like six I have now, lmaooooo TEN

TEN

why the baby talk I–

I really liked the single sentence lines that were just swearing huh

me @ half my wip’s

omg there’s so much more scheming in this draft, I almost want to find a way to work it back into a later draft because it is!! fun!!

and THE END

apparently

we’ve been WHAT

I want to know lmao

I decided to take a look through the rest of the things I had in my folder for this book too, since this post was still fairly short, and I . . . have no words

this is a combination of things from planning documents and random scenes that I wrote in a separate document for some reason instead of my main one lol

Okay the thing is this isn’t actually a horrible love confession, at least not compared to some of my other attempts at this romance, but . . . it’s so dramatic and so out of place and idk what is even happening.

This was the literal only thing in the document (aptly titled “I love you”) and I have exactly zero memory of writing it. It’s just . . . so not THEM. like it doesn’t fit my characters . I don’t know what was happening ahhhhhhhhh!! also like . . . literally why do I have a document that’s just this dramatic piece of trash??

Ah, romance <3333333 *facepalm*

this is part of a very long scene that I would mock mercilessly except it’s like chock full of spoilers lmaoooo, but it’s . . . bad. real bad. not good at all. it was so angsty and I didn’t understand subtlety at all and I just . . . no ❤

I can’t believe I used to think I was good at dialogue I–

AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED

but also please, please, Past Me I’m BEGGING you, learn to use paragraphs

I wrote out a timeline full of absolutely unnecessary details, such as,,,,,,,, the fact that apparently Emi kissed her best friend. I think my logic was that she needed to kiss a boy to realize she didn’t like guys??????? which is obviously bullshit, but I was an idiot who knew nothing about gay stuff okay. but also like WHY WAS IT EVEN RELEVANT IN MY TIMELINE??

also yes he was called unnamed boy for,,,, many months before he got a name

WHY IS THIS RELEVANT OH MY GOD I HAVE SO MANY LEGIT PLOT THINGS IN HERE AND THEN JUST. THE CHARACTER’S FIRST KISSES. WHY. WHYYYY

THAT TONE SWITCH THO

also I’m losing my mind at “sad emi.”

Anyways I think it’s high time for me to shut up now, because I’ve already subjected y’all to far too much of this trash. I,,,, am sorry. If you made it this far, thank you lmao, I appreciate you! Anyways I’m going to go hide in a hole now lmao

Did anyone else really struggle with the concepts of paragraphs as a child?

Would you want to see more reaction posts of some sort?

Was your old writing also super dramatic?