hi everyone and welcome to this disaster. I’ve been wanting to do some writing posts for a while, but now that I’m actually trying to get blogging again I figured I should actually like . . . do it.

for some context, here’s the run down. I had an idea for a book (called Rebel & Queen) maybe two and a half years ago, give or take a few months. I wish I had an exact date, but my guess is sometime in 2018. I planned a little (emphasis on little) and then dove in and tried to write it.

It was shit.

I didn’t really know anything about plot, and also my writing was just . . . bad. (I’m happy to say, I’ve improved a lot since then.) It was really, really not a good draft, and like nothing happened.

I got 11k in before I gave up, and then didn’t touch it for a while before starting over entirely from scratch sometime in 2019. I also didn’t get very far there (something like 3-5k), but I revisited it again in February of this year, and was able to rewrite that first 3-5k into something vaguely decent, and went on finish a draft.

But anyways, we aren’t here to talk about that better draft!! We’re here to talk about my crap first attempt.

I was just going to focus on the draft itself, but I just found my plotting document and it is . . . a wild ride. I’m not going to show any spoilers (although it might be hard to give spoilers anyways lol because said outline gets to about a third of the way through and then skips ahead to the end) but I’m going to highlight some of the funnier parts

I’m just losing my mind at “(figuratively)” ajkhfgdfhgjhghfgh

I , , , , honestly this looks something like how I plot now, but also it’s just. worse. I feel like I had too little faith in myself to remember really basic things like . . . the fact that my villains and their plans existed?? like I didn’t really need to spell that out for myself lmao

MA’AM IF YOU KNOW IT’S LAME DON’T DO IT

EMI TIES ALEX TO A TREE

the fact that that didn’t make it into my current draft is honestly a travesty 😔

also it’s not in my plotting doc, but can I just say I have reached the part where they were being attacked by bandits and I couldn’t figure out why the person tailing them couldn’t step in to save them and I went “hm I think I should have the person be on watch in a tree and be very bad at tree climbing so they get stuck in the tree trying to climb down and don’t get there in time”. I later realized that the bandits could just split up and attack both camps :||

oh my god why was I SO bad at plotting ajkhgdfjhghfg

okay that section was a hot mess I hate it here XD I honestly don’t know whether the book itself is better or worse but uhhh . . . we’re gonna get into this (I have read the beginning of this a lot more recently than I’d read my plotting document, but it never stops being funny)

my prologue is actually mostly the same, it’s just . . . I wrote it way better the second time around!! I know I said we aren’t focusing on my current draft, but I’m pretty proud of the glow-up, so I’m going to show them both side by side lmao (do keep in mind pls, the prologue is still the oldest part of my current draft, and I didn’t change it much lmaooo, so it’s still like a year old don’t judge me too harshly)

the first one (with all the gray lines covering spoilers because I had no sense of when to reveal information lmaooo) is my first attempt, and the second one is my current one!!

neither of them are exactly masterpieces but , , , at least I learned how paragraphs work????? and got a little better about not spelling stuff out quite so much (dear past me, a prologue is supposed to be mysterious) lmaoooo

I honestly just don’t have words, it’s so so bad. also overdramatic much??? I needed to chill lmaooo

also what the fuck was “And Emilia turns away. She runs away.” there is,,, such thing as too much repetition past me, and you’re wayyy past that threshold

and here I present to you the first line after the prologue. literally this is how I started my book. it was so bad. so bad. it’s so boring I can’t handle it ahhhhhhaaghfdghghf

dear past me,

have you heard of info dumping

because you suck and need to stop doing it

also this is just,,,, SO in your face pls

Alex said one (1) sentence and then Emi flipped the fuck out, and while it’s a huge gay mood . . . also could this possibly have been more overdramatic??? “because I think we want the same thing” like ma’am she cussed at someone who was ordering her tossed in the dungeon how the hell does that give you any sense of what she wants??? and “courage I wish I had” is just,,,,,,,,,,, no ❤

EMI STOP SPYING ON PRISONERS IT’S CREEPY

“so piercing, so raw” someone burn it with fire

ah yes, truly have to stan the iconic first interaction between my ship <333333 what romance, what grace

I just,,,,, it’s not horrible dialogue it’s just A Lot for reasons I can’t quite place and I hate it here

please dear god someone teach past me how paragraphs work it looks so bad hhhhhh

ah yes and then emi goes through and details every part of her packing to run away and all her dramatic emotional goodbyes to all the staff. because we really needed to see every single step there hhh

OH MY GOD MOOD BUT ALSO STOP IT WHY IS SHE BEING SO DRAMATIC OVE RBOOKS HHHHH ALSO THIS IS SO BAD “um, maybe more like two minutes” WHY

more mundane details, way too many mundane details, this is why I wrote 11k and nothing happened

ah yes, my ship ❤ okay not gonna lie this is actually still like 90% their dynamic, I just . . . write it 1000% better. and it’s less overdramatic now lmaooooo

WHY WAS EMI SO MEAN OMG

she’s not that mean anymore lmaoooooo, that’s Alex’s territory XD

okay I’m wheezing this is legit pure comic gold I–

WHY DID I MAKE HER SO STUPID OMGGGG

she doesn’t exactly have GOOD plans in my current draft, but at least she doesn’t just up and leave with someone who wants her dead with zero plans whatsoever *all the facepalms*

THE SELF CALL-OUT I WAS BEING SO OVERDRAMATIC HHHH. also I laughed so hard at “your death” I–

also why did I name my country silstia that’s such an ugly name wow I’m glad I forgot it existed and renamed it akhjghfhjhghfg

also I needed to learn grammar hhhh “your death” should have a comma after it not a period!!

“No. “Yes.”” has the the same energy as “no ❤ ” and no I won’t explain

I still have another 14 pages of this “draft” I’d love to react to, but this post is already extremely long, so I think I’m going to make this a two-parter!! Part two will come your way sometime in the next week or so, so I guess goodbye for now!!

Do you have old writing you’re scared to look at?

Would you also miss your books if you had to go on a dangerous mission? XD

Do you plot really sarcastically, or is that just me?